Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
