How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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