why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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