I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
birth control should be required to get into college
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
