why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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