dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize