I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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