Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
do herpes really smell.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
