There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize