Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
