I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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