Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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