everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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