I'll bet she douches with gravy.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
