apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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