Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
