We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
