Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
