I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
