In the future we'll all be gay
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
