if you like me you must not know who I am
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
