it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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