idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
