I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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