Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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