he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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