hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
