Christians are straight up FREAKS
Too much gin, very little bucket
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
