Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The adults are the big ones right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize