Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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