In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize