i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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