so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
