You really coming over, don't trick.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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