We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
