so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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