I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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