People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
