Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
