My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
