do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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