Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
