it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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