We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize