Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
