Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Less talking, more tequila
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
