Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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