I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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