my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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