eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
