he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
