thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
