are you still at the devil's house?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
