the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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