I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
