I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
