gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
