My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
