i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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