Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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