can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
