This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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