was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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