Yo dont text me then not text me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
