you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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