do herpes really smell.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
