We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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