that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
