i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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