Me too!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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