He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Barsexuality is the new black.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
